Whether you are in an active crisis or are just ready to get help, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline any time, day or night.

Podcasts

I have found several helpful podcasts that explain destructive behaviors the healthy mind can never wrap itself around. I listen to these when I am confused about my ex’s behavior or just need to hear that it has a name and be reminded that I am free from living in that kind of relationship!

  • Surviving Narssicism with Les Carter discusses narcissistic abuse and healing strategies.

  • The Anti-Alienation Project discusses parental alienation, healing strategies, and hope for the alienated parent.

  • Therapy and Theology with Lysa TerKeurst is a great resource for people who have been told to stay in toxic and abusive relationships by misinterpretation of the Scriptures. She’s joined by a theologian and a mental health counselor as they dig into misconceptions about Christian marriage and open up a world of healing insight to their listeners.

  • Laurel Slade-Waggoner and David Clarke discuss ways to deal with toxic relationships and help your kids gain these skills as well in their podcast.

  • Ryan Thomas Speaks is another YouTube channel on parental alienation.

Books

I remember talking to my Care Pastor about the confusing things that were going on in my marriage, and he gave me a book by Leslie Vernick called The Emotionally Destructive Marriage. It was a life saver! Reading it made me feel like someone was finally able to relate to my life. Someone FINALLY got it! Here are a few authors who discuss really hard marriage issues, as well as some titles that can help you discover things about yourself that can help you on your healing journey.

  • The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick

  • Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst

  • The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

  • True Love Dates by Debra Fileta

  • The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

  • Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection by John Sarno

  • Was it Even Abuse? Restoring Clarity After Covert Abuse by Emma Rose

  • Worthy of Love: A Gentle and Restorative Path to Healing After Narcissistic Abuse (The Narcissism Series) by Debbie Mirza

  • A Cry for Justice by Jeff Crippen

  • Trusting God by Jerry Bridges

Healing Tools

I am thankful to know people who are walking with me through my healing journey, and many of these ideas have come from them. I hope they can be helpful to you as well (list in progress).

  • EMDR. This is a type of trauma therapy that changes your trauma into a rational memory and turns off the fight or flight response. I have had and have heard amazing results from this therapy.

  • Movement. If you are able to do physical activity, this is a great way to relieve stress and focus on something else for a while. It gives your mind and your body a break from worrying and problem-solving. I recommend doing whatever you love: dance, running, yoga, etc. You are in charge!

  • Support Groups. I found support groups most helpful at the beginning of my divorce. Now that I am healing and past the initial shock of it all, I pop in now and then to be supportive or to ask questions. Support groups can be a great “as needed” tool in your journey. Divorce Care is a popular one, and many churches have their own versions of divorce support groups.

  • Occupational Therapy can be an avenue of healing if you have had trauma and subsequent chronic pain issues. OT’s can provide biofeedback, water therapy, and much more to help mitigate the pain that can settle into the body as a result of trauma. If you have “tried everything” to heal from chronic pain after trauma, talk to your provider about an appointment with an OT in pain management.

Need budgeting help?

NeoBudget.com is a tool that helps you keep track of your expenses in virtual envelopes, so you can tell how much money you have left in a category after paying a bill. This tool took me from living paycheck to paycheck to carrying a significant balance in my account. And you can do a 10-envelope trial run for FREE!

Need a little encouragement?

Remember how the Israelites set up altars to remember God’s miracles? GodSpeaks is your virtual altar! This is an app that allows you to write about whatever God is doing in your life that you want to be reminded of. The app will then remind you of your entries at later dates. Imagine standing in the grocery line, frazzled and rushed, hearing your phone reminder go off and looking down to catch a reminder of God’s love and faithfulness. Get the app today!